dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
