quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
