so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
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You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
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I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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