i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
