i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
