gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
