yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
