when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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