But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
