he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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