but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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