Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
