Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
