Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
