I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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