So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
