hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
