I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she peed on how many people?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
