Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
