is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
