I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
