just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
