That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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