Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
