So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
