Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
