And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize