My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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