so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
