Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
