What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
