I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just want nice things and good sex
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
