the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
