I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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