hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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