no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
