What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I understand Curling. That high.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
