Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
