this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
