her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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