Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
