Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
