That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
