Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize