My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
