Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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