The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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