Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
