Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize