my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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