oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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