So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I am available for nakedness
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
