i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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