Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
