you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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