she was so not down for the gang bang
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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