"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
