Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
