dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
