is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
