She's JV to your varsity
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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